Another Crossroads

And so, seven months after going part-time at my job, I find myself at another fork in the road. It has been decided (not by me) that my position really requires a full-time employee, or at the very least, a change in my schedule.
So I am now faced with the decision to go back to full-time (a definite no), change my schedule to MWF (a possibility), or leave altogether (another possibility).

The logical thing to do is probably to change my schedule and continue as is. However, I know that life is not always logical, and as hokey as it may sound, I am always on the lookout for signs. I try to pay close attention to the direction I’m being led, rather than to force the path that I most desire. I also know that sometimes opportunities come that may initially appear as a roadblock. We can choose to embrace the new opportunity or forge past the roadblock.

My dilemma right now is figuring out which direction is the opportunity and which is the roadblock. I know the direction that my heart pulls me. I’ve thought a lot about it, and as terrifying as it seems to me at times, I feel pulled to leave my job altogether (there are a lot of reasons why I don’t think the MWF thing would be ideal, but I don’t want to get into all of them), embrace full-time mamahood, and pursue some different interests and {possible} {future} career paths. But then my brain swoops in and lectures me about the dangers of taking such a risk.

But here’s the thing. Life is all about taking risks! Without them, there would be no success.

So you see. I can talk myself back and forth through this issue, but at the end of the day I need to make a decision. Well, not technically the end of the day. I have until about March 1.

Do I want to stay at my job, which I don’t really love anymore or do I want to spend more time with this face?

towel

Do I want more money, or do I want to spend more time with this face?

baby

Do I want to continue on my current career path (higher ed, for inquiring minds) or do I want to put myself out there and pursue my real dreams in photography or something else?

Do I want to get up really early several days a week, pack lunches for Annabel (because the daycare food sucks!), and rush out the door in the morning….or do I want to spend more time with this face?

bathtub

When I look at it from that perspective, the choice seems simple. Now I just have to decide if I’m brave enough to make this change, to take the financial blow, and to embrace this as an opportunity rather than view it as a roadblock.

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