What You Don’t See

My life is not perfect. I figure that goes without saying, but just in case it needed any clarifying, I’m here to tell you that it’s far from perfect.

I’ve made a very deliberate choice not to post a bunch of negative stuff on my blog, but just because I try not to complain here doesn’t mean that everything is all sunshine and roses all of the time. I love reading blogs that are honest about everyday life struggles and I’m not trying to be dishonest by not posting more of that stuff.

However.

There are a few reasons why I largely avoid talking about the crappy moments of the day (and there are always crappy moments!). The main reason is that when I look back on these posts years from now, when Annabel is older, I want to focus on and remember the positive stuff. The fun stuff. The stuff worth remembering. I want to read about the funny little things she said or did or the fun adventures that we took and I want to see the pictures of her happy and smiling and learning and growing. I don’t need to read about how tired I was or how many times I snapped at Nathan, or how overwhelmed I felt by everything that needed to be done, etc, etc. And it should also go without saying that I don’t want Annabel to read about how much she might have frustrated me on certain days. That’s not to say that I’ll never post about those things, but in general, that’s not what I created this space to do.

So that’s the main reason. I also feel like there is so much else in the world that is dark and negative, that I don’t need to add to that. I want my little corner of the internet to be a bright and happy place. Another big reason that I don’t like to do a lot of complaining about my life here is that I genuinely feel very lucky to live the life that I do. And I am constantly trying to keep things in perspective. Yes I have bad days, bad moments within those days, but in the big picture I am very fortunate. I know that and I don’t want to come across, even for a second, as unappreciative.

So why am I posting all of this? Well, I was talking to a friend the other day and telling her how I was just in a crappy mood and felt like I was just pissed at the world. And for no good reason which was even worse. She was surprised by that. Because of my blog. And I can see her point completely. Like I said, I don’t post much of the negative, but that’s not because it’s not there. I just assumed that everyone knows that sandwiched in between the cute baby pictures and attempts at cooking, there are arguments with Nathan, loads of chores to be done, and a sometimes cranky baby.

There are plenty of moments like this in our house. I don’t usually photograph them, but this time I happened to have my camera right there and I was having a hard time not laughing at her because she was being so dramatic. I probably took scissors out of her hand or some other equally deplorable offense.

I know. Horrible mommy.

So there you have it. Life is not always fun and easy around here, but we do our best.

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