Losing it

I hate it when Nathan is out of town. The house is too quiet and lonely, and I really hate going to bed by myself. As hard as it is to find motivation to cook for the two of us, it’s pretty much impossible to bring myself to cook when it’s just me. I guess it’s cereal for dinner again! Cereal is my go-to, no effort required “dinner.” Yep, I’m that lazy!

Last week, Nathan headed out for his annual man’s trip to Montana, leaving me all alone. As usual, I missed having him around, but I also really noticed how his particular brand of crazy (and I mean that lovingly as we all have some crazy in us) has infiltrated my mind. You see, Nathan is a little obsessive compulsive when it comes to locking doors, turning off the stove, turning out lights, unplugging my hair straightener, etc. I pay attention to those things on some level, but definitely not on Nathan level. Probably because I know that he’s got it in the bag. Every morning before we leave the house, and every night before bed, he does a “walk through” to be sure that everything is in order. I always figured he was just checking locks and setting the alarm. Semi-normal things like that. Then one night, I walked into the kitchen during his routine and found him standing in front of the stove. I can’t even describe the movement of his hands as he checked and double checked and triple checked that the burners were in off position. And we hadn’t even used the stove that night! That was enlightening.

So without Nathan here to double check everything, I found myself kind of losing my mind. One day last week, I actually left the house, drove down the street (only after waiting in the driveway as the garage came to a complete close), and promptly turned around to double check the front door. I knew it was locked; it’s always locked. But I could hear his voice in my head asking, “Did you lock the front door?” And even though I knew unequivocally that it was indeed locked, I had to go back to check.

Overall, it’s just bad when Nathan leaves me alone for several days in a row. It’s bad for my mental health and sanity, it’s clearly bad for my diet, it’s bad for my sleep, and it’s potentially bad for the security of our house. Especially after that one time that I left the stove on all night.

Just kidding, Nathan. It was only half the night, geez.