Social Etiquette. Or lack thereof.
Let’s discuss social etiquette and manners, shall we? I’d like to give a lesson in what NOT to say to another human, specifically a woman. I feel sure that none of my lovely readers would ever make this mistake, but one can never be too certain. Think of it as a PSA courtesy of yours truly.
So there’s this woman that I know. Let’s call her Maude. Over the few months that I’ve known her, I’ve picked up on the fact that she has absolutely no filter and says exactly what is on her mind, all of the time. The trouble is that what’s on her mind isn’t always polite. But that doesn’t stop her. Nope, she says it anyway.
Maude has recently begun harassing me about when I’m going to have a baby. I told her a few months back that we would likely start trying soon. Was that ever a mistake! I should have kept my big mouth shut, and now for future reference, I know that. Anyway, she has also come right out and asked me if I was pregnant, but that was a few weeks ago and we weren’t telling anyone but close friends and family yet, so I tried to avoid the question. It was uncomfortable at best.
I’m fairly certain that Maude thinks she knows for a fact that I am indeed pregnant. I’m fairly certain that’s why she is being so bold. But last week, she crossed the line. We were standing a few feet apart when she looks over at me and says, “Getting a little chunky there, huh Adriannne?” Uhhhh….I didn’t even know how to respond to something like that. Who says that?! Pregnant or not pregnant, no woman wants to be called chunky! And clearly even if I am pregnant and just not telling her yet, it means that I’m not that far along yet. Certainly not far enough along to have the pregnancy be contributing to any weight gain. So basically, she was just calling me fat. Under no circumstances is that acceptable social behavior.
Neither is it acceptable to bug someone about their reproductive plans and/or status. For all she knows, we could have been trying for months with no success, in which case, having someone constantly asking about it would be hurtful. Especially having someone ask in the way that she “asks”….So it’s made me wonder, does she sincerely not realize that pestering someone about something so personal, so private is obnoxious at best and very offensive at worst? Does she just not care? Does she think it’s funny? I can’t figure it out.
What I do know is that I always think back on conversations or moments in my life and wish I could have them back once I’ve had some time to think of a really great response. Because in the moment, while it’s happening, I always find myself incapable of saying the right thing. And then, without fail, I think of something perfect. The only problem is that by then, the moment has passed and I’ve lost my opportunity. I hate that. I’m sure you can relate.
P.S. This post might have been more appropriately titled “Ramblings of a
fat grumpy pregnant lady.”